Blue & Gold Illustrated: America's Foremost Authority on Notre Dame Football
Issue link: https://comanpub.uberflip.com/i/1541560
14 NOV. 29, 2025 BLUE & GOLD ILLUSTRATED BY TREVOR RUHLAND Editor's Note: This is a condensed version of the first in a three-part series from former Notre Dame offensive line- man Trevor Ruhland (2015-19), which appeared in full on BlueandGold.com in September. Ruhland gave his first-person perspective on the physical aftermath of his college football career, finding purpose in the working world, his ongoing rela- tionship with the game and much more. A ll of this shit is always on my mind … that is why it is so strange that writing these first couple of sen- tences is challenging. When you finish something you invested so much time and effort into, it feels like a part of you is over. Or a part of life is over. I do consider myself lucky that I knew it was going to end only a few years into college. Becoming a working stiff and hustling for that white picket fence American Dream was the new goal in life. I knew this was my future while still having years left of college and sports. That being said, I do not think it made the post-years any easier. At one point, I weighed 305 pounds — 3-0-5. That is a large man! Weight has always been something my family has talked about. Being in a family that has many athletes gaining weight and being a big, strong offensive lineman is a topic that has been on the minds of not only me but also my parents. I went from 300 pounds to about 150 pounds in two years. I lost half my body weight, lost my strength, lost my per- sonality, lost my faith, lost my drive, and almost lost my family. I spent 23 years building myself up, about two years tearing myself down, and now working to find the right balance. This journey has changed me. Shit, that's a cheesy line, but it is true. I am not the same person I was five years ago, but that's normal. Or is it? How much did fighting through an eating disorder change me? WHY I'M SHARING My story is just one among countless others of athletes finding their way when the game ends, or individuals battling unseen struggles. If sharing my journey can offer even a sliver of hope, a moment of recognition, or a push toward seeking help for someone else feeling lost, then every painful step was worth it. I am forever indebted to those who carried me when I could not carry my- self. And as I look to the future — to a home, a family, shared beers with friends, and a life truly lived — I do so with an overwhelming sense of blessing, knowing that the greatest game of all is simply living each day with purpose, presence and unwavering love. By sharing this story, the raw and ugly truth of it, I'm hoping to connect with others who feel that same lostness. My hope is that my experience can become a guiding light for someone else, a signal that it's OK to not have it all figured out, and that the greatest comeback isn't on a football field — it's in putting your life back together. Sharing this is the first step in turning my personal hell into a source of hope. And in that, I've found a purpose more meaningful than I ever could have imagined. I remember sitting at the dinner table, watching my little brother force food down his face, because he needed to get big like me to see if he could live his col- lege football dreams. He would sit there crying and could not leave the table un- til he finished the last bite of chicken or had to finish his PB&J sandwich. WEIGHT OF REALITY Former Notre Dame offensive lineman Trevor Ruhland shares his post-playing career struggles Ruhland — who was listed on the 2019 Notre Dame roster as a 6-3, 292-pound offensive lineman — played in 32 games with 11 starts for the Fighting Irish from 2016-19. PHOTO BY BILL PANZICA