Blue & Gold Illustrated: America's Foremost Authority on Notre Dame Football
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BLUEGOLDONLINE.COM DECEMBER 2025 13 BY TREVOR RUHLAND Editor's Note: This is the second in a three-part series from former Notre Dame offensive lineman Trevor Ruh- land (2015-19), which appeared in full on BlueandGold .com in September. Ruh- land gave his first-person perspective on the physical aftermath of his college football career, finding purpose in the working world, his ongoing relationship with the game and much more. S tepping away from the life of a college football player, from the structure, the meals, the grind and the singular focus of be- ing an athlete, left a cavernous void. It wasn't just the sport I missed; it was the entire identity wrapped up in it. For so long, my purpose was clear: get bigger, get stronger, dominate. Every rep, every meal, every hour was geared towards that. And then, poof, it's gone. What do you do when your life's mis- sion statement suddenly expires? It's like being a ship without a rudder, just drifting. I bounced around for a while, trying to grasp onto new objectives, but nothing felt as concrete or as demanding as that athletic pursuit. The world outside of football felt … softer, less defined. How do you find that same fire, that same absolute commitment, when the goal isn't staring you down from a scoreboard? FINDING LOVE AFTER COLLEGE In college, the idea of a steady girl- friend never really fit into my world. I was living the quintessential bachelor athlete life — busy, self-absorbed in the pursuit of football and, frankly, too self- ish to ever truly settle down with a girl. My focus was singular, and anything that detracted from that, including seri- ous relationships, felt like a distraction. I was a bit cynical about finding a girl- friend, let alone a future partner. I never gave it much thought, never had a plan for that part of my life. When I finished school and moved home, the challenge of finding and even just talking to girls became almost impos- sible. To make that all worse, COVID hit, and the social life basically went out the window. I felt utterly hopeless trying to find a woman in that isolating landscape. Then, out of the blue, I met Nina through Bumble. I had never been big on dating apps; they seemed superficial and not really my style. But being locked in at home, with no other real options, I figured I'd give it a shot. And lucky for me, she swiped right, giving me a chance that would change everything. I remember our first couple of "dates" vividly — walking our dogs, Maggie and Oakley, in the parks near us. I was so ner- vous meeting her, stepping into the un- known of an online connection. But the chemistry was clear right away. She was this gorgeous blonde, with beautiful blue eyes, effortlessly funny and smart. She had this incredible ability to talk to any- one, and they would instantly like her. We just clicked, right from the start. I felt so unbelievably blessed to have met her. Our first few weeks and months to- gether were a blur of those dog walks, sneaking around with all the COVID restrictions, and long, late-night Face- Time calls that stretched on for hours. We were finding our own little world within the isolation. One of the craziest, almost unbeliev- able, things happened when I typed her parents' address into my GPS for the first time. It was only eight minutes away! That's when it hit me, that's when I thought, this has to be meant to be. FILLING THE VOID Former Notre Dame offensive lineman Trevor Ruhland searches for purpose through love and work Ruhland said, "Stepping away from the life of a college football player, from the structure, the meals, the grind and the singular focus of being an athlete, left a cavernous void." PHOTO BY ANDRIS VISOCKIS