The Wolverine: Covering University of Michigan Football and Sports
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8 THE WOLVERINE ❱ SEPTEMBER 2025 M ichigan football haters expe- rienced a really bad stretch l a te ly. E ve n t h e m i l k i n their big bowl of Honey Nut Drearios got diluted by their tears of anger and despair. For the past couple of years, they as- sured themselves over and over, as if casting a spell on the Blue Bogeyman: "The hammer is coming! The hammer is coming! Michigan is done for!" They were ready for the NCAA to de- liver the college football death penalty to Ann Arbor. But that's not all they desired. They wanted former head coach Jim Harbaugh waterboarded in the Diag, w it h complete Ga meDay coverage. T hey wa nted sig n-stea l i ng sava nt Con nor Sta l ions d ragged by actua l stallions, down the Michigan Stadium tunnel, out onto the field for a couple of laps, then back up that hallowed en- try/exit as part of the season-opening night-game entertainment. A nd they ached for a commando- s t yle ra id i n wh ich a r me d forc e s stormed Schembechler Hall, removing the 2023 national championship trophy at gunpoint, with ESPN cameras car- rying the action live. What they got instead? Two fistfuls of dust, and even more reason to envy and despise those winged helmets. No removal of the national champi- onship. No vacated victories. No post- season ban. For even moderately reasonable peo- ple, this involves no shock whatsoever. T he president of the NCA A himself declared Michigan's 2023 title to have been captured "fair and square." And in the long and inglorious history of NCA A cheating — in which the pro- grams of those screaming the loud- est right now bought their teams long before it was legal — finding creative ways to steal signs ranks as m icro- scopic spuds on the small potatoes list. It's not like the NCAA did nothing. After all, the governing body made this personal, after Harbaugh meddled in their cash-printing business by de- manding a cut for the players, and after he refused to bend the knee to one of their inconsistent inquisitions. They wanted to drive him out of college foot- ball, and they did. His ongoing purga- tory? Living in Southern California, earning $16 million per year, and pur- suing the Lombardi Trophy in the NFL arena for which he longed anyway. M ich iga n gets n icked w it h f i nes amounting to an estimated $20 mil- lion, relatively short-term recruiting restrictions, and another suspended game for head coach Sherrone Moore in 2026 in addition to the two he will sit out this fall. There's nothing that will substan- tially affect the Wolverines this fall or in the years to come. M ich iga n's not ta ki ng even those measures without pushback. It chal- lenged the NCA A w ith a statement pointedly zeroing in on what U-M sees as the governing body's own gaffes. "We appreciate the work of the Com- m ittee on I n fractions," M ich iga n's statement began. "But, respectfully, in a number of instances the decision makes fundamental errors in inter- preting NCAA bylaws; and it includes a number of conclusions that are directly contrary to the evidence — or lack of evidence — in the record. We will appeal this decision to ensure a fair result." I n other words, ga me on, NCA A. Even what the haters decry as a slap on the wrist will get chop-blocked. While the four- and five-star athletes battle on the field, five-star lawyers will de- mand a review of what U-M considers a bogus illegal procedure call. All of which leaves the haters even more apoplectic. How incredibly sad. As The Man In Black once told Inigo Mon- toya, "Get used to disappointment." Imagine their unbridled meltdown if a rookie quarterback, a brand-new offensive coordinator and an upgraded attack teamed with what's shaping up to be a cha mpionsh ip-level defense and carried the Wolverines to a College Football Playoff berth. They might just choke on their nut necklaces. Don't count the Wolverines out, ra- dio analyst Jon Jansen cautions. "No matter who the quarterback is, you're going to have a stronger arm," he asserted. "You're going to have the ability to throw the ball downfield more. You're going to be more mobile at that quarterback position. If the offensive line isn't firing on all cylinders at the start of the season, you've got a guy who can extend plays and get outside the pocket. "Receivers will be better and more ex- perienced. I like [6-5 grad wideout Do- naven] McCulley and the size he brings. But I think the major factor will be Chip Lindsey. Watching him operate during the spring, and the point of emphasis for him — it was 'Yeah, we want to be able to run the ball and establish the run, set up the play-action.' But to be able to throw the ball down the field, give yourself the chance to make some plays. A lot of it will be because of the addition of Chip Lindsey as offensive coordinator." Let the games begin? No doubt. And along the way, soak up every bit of op- probrium as jet fuel. ❏ WOLVERINE WATCH ❱ JOHN BORTON Haters' Meltdown Continues Among other penalties levied by the NCAA on Michigan as a result of its "signgate" inves- tigation, former U-M head football coach Jim Harbaugh — now in the NFL — was given a show-cause order banning him from intercol- legiate athletics for 10 years. PHOTO BY LON HORWEDEL Senior writer John Borton has been with The Wolverine since 1991. Contact him at jborton@thewolverine.com and follow him on X (Twitter) @JB_Wolverine.